I haven’t felt like writing lately. . The last blog talked about seeing the Atma in the smiles of strangers on the street and in the supermarket. Suddenly it all seemed so ridiculous and boring. I should have realized at that point something was wrong. Spirituality is a very subtle thing. It is so very subtle that many people over look it all together. They may go to church on Sunday or go and sit in the mandir and chant but they really are not tuned into the subtle spirituality. With all the worldly stuff going on all around me plus a minimum of four hours of television every day, the deeper more subtle feelings or vibrations disappear.
Besides my blood sugar was pretty high so I gave up the two cups of coffee I have with breakfast. Can’t write a blog without coffee. Actually coffee does stimulate the mind and you think better. It is great when you’re taking exams and let me tell you, living in the west means a constant self examination.
So where are we? Are we still looking for the Atma? Well of course but we must look inside isn’t it? Granted it’s outside too but inside it counts more.
And I’ve been working on the self confidence thing as well. Before leaving on this journey my thoughts were very negative. I was thinking, “Swami has talked about self confidence all along. He has said in so many words, without self confidence there’s never going to be any spiritual progress. So maybe I should just give up. I don’t have self . confidence and never have had, probably never will have so maybe He is sending me back because I’m a hopeless case.” Those were my black thoughts.
Have you EVER heard of Swami giving up on anyone? Would He ever just say…that one didn’t make it so better luck next time? OF COURSE NOT. So, self confidence is an issue that needs work, that’s all. And HE WILL WORK ON IT WITH OR WITHOUT MY KNOWLEDGE AND HE WILL GIVE ME SELF CONFIDENCE BEFORE I LEAVE THIS BODY. I AM CONFIDENT OF THAT!
Sai Ram, where did all that confidence come from anyway. What it means is, I have confidence in HIM. Ok, I don’t need to say it. WHO AM I. Oh Lord, Swami it always gets back to that doesn’t it. Gee, can’t you just show me I’m you, just this once. I know I should work for it and neti neti all the time and everything but…just this once can’t you show me that I’m you, just for me, your old, gold….no huh?
Swami. You are showing me who I am every moment, aren’t you. That blog I wrote about the smiling clerks and ladies in the stores, you were showing me then, weren’t you….because, of course YOU ARE THE ATMA AND SO AM I. But Swami it gets a little old after a while.. You’ve seen one Atmic smile you’ve seen them all. I’m just kidding. If I really saw the smiles as coming from the Atma it wouldn’t be boring, would it.
Well. I’ve had one small cup of coffee so I’ll do one small blog. But this time I don’t think it’s boring because it’s real. It’s coming from the heart
Also I’ve run out of the heavy duty spiritual stuff I do every day, the Sahastranamas and Astotras. So, you know what I think I’ll do? I think I’ll fill in with stuff I’ve written a long time ago, if I can get it past my programmer.
Go Inside
Rap
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You go inside and close the door
And don’t come out here any more
Yes, the heart’s door is the one I mean
Swami’s waiting for you to come
And when you don’t,
You’re acting dumb
Well, things are never
Really as they seem
Turning your back on the Lord inside
You think about stuff outside
Love and peace
But I know that won’t work
Peace is inside where God resides
But in the world, pieces you’ll find
And I know,
‘Cause some tines I’m a jerk
That doesn’t deserve a second thought
Just garbage all that worldly talk
And it won’t last, it just decays
Leaves you with nothing at all
But Swami’s words say it all
Be quiet now and just do it His way
The world’s just not
Worth thinking about
But I can see you have a doubt
That Swami’s sitting
Right there in your heart
But take it from me, Swami’s there!
Orange robe, crown of hair
And guess who else
Has a starring part?
It’s you! Yes, you’re both inside
You are one, so now you decide
You want to find divinity
In your heart?
OK but there’s no room for anything else
Just Swami and you,
Your real true self
Everything else is just imagination
Seen thru the senses and the mind
Not really true, you’re gonna find
If only you’ll use your discrimination
World’s not important, that’s a fact
Besides God takes care of all that
Leaving you free to just be here inside
To love Him with gratitude
Because that’s the right attitude
In fact, He’s your savior,
You’re gonna find
Why think about
That lap-top computer
It’s a scalawag and a looter
Stealing all those desires
Which should be
For God alone, yes God and you
Your inner self, one not two
So, if you want to be really free
Kick that bad ole lap-top out
It’s a fun toy no doubt
But where’s the software
For liberation?
Set ‘em on fire, delete desires
Time to run inside
Your house is on fire
Close your eyes
And let’s try meditation!
Once inside, you’re gonna find
Only the permanent there abides
Not all that trashy kid stuff you desire
Life is short so you should see
And try to find your divinity
Before that final big cremation fire
Swami sits there and He’s fussy
‘bout the sights
You think you must see
And your heart’s His
Rightful place to be
He doesn’t like all that trash in there
Just throw it out you shouldn’t care
‘bout anything that
Keeps you from being free
You think you want to see a movie
Or all that garbage on your TV
Now listen
If those desires aren’t controlled
They will simply drive you crazy
Those bad words and deeds you see
Leave your mind with crusty mold
Another new dress!
Now wait a minute
That’s a stupid thought
And the heart’s not in it
At least not my heart
Which is always spic and span
I always clean it so He’ll stay there
Can’t be careless, wouldn’t dare
I zap those bad thoughts
As fast as I can
Your heart’s your
‘Santum Santorium’
You’ve got to keep it clean for Him
Although we know
He’ll never go away
He says He’ll never let us down
But let’s not cause
That sweet face to frown
By letting our bad thoughts
Have their day
Iraqi War!
Now how did that get there?
OK OK,
So I know that you do care
About the pain and suffering
That you see
Just try to leave it to God to fix
Because, you can’t, it won’t mix
So say a prayer and
Turn off the old TV
I know, women and children are dying
Makes you feel bad And you’re crying
And sometimes you feel
That you are the world
But those sad thoughts
Must be released
If you are to remain in peace
To try to get
Liberation’s banner unfurled
Don’t pollute or
Trash that inner part
Where Swami sits in your heart
School Exams!
Now wait just a minute
You studied right? Every day?
So take the exams
Come what may
Worry won’t help
So now you just forget it
Cause if you can sit every day
In your own heart
Then you can say
‘Not my will but Thine, Precious Sai
Problems come and problems go
But Swami’s permanent, you know
He’s here forever, deep inside
Problems come and will always be
But if you find your divinity
Then you won’t be acting all deranged
See, some detachment will be there
And even tho you still do care
You’ll find your attitude has changed
Don’t turn your back on the world
To keep liberation’s banner unfurled
Just see the world thru
Swami in your heart
Pain and pleasure will come and go
But Swami’s permanent, I know
He’ll never finish
And He’ll never start
Don’t let your desires run away
With your heart so you can say
You know, I don’t need a thing at all
Cause I have my Swami, yeah, He’s mine
We are one, we are divine
And believe it or not
You’re gonna have a ball.
Problems come, yup they’ll be there
And you can help because you care
But now there’s
An inner part that’s cool
A little pain, then pleasure too
That’s the rule, what to do
It’s pointless to go around
Acting like a fool
Swami’s smiling there in your heart
Always ready to take your part
And you will be a better instrument
With detachment yes and humility
You will serve humanity
Once you’ve deleted
Your a bleeding heart
Then you and Swami will rule forever
Hallelula and He’ll never
Leave His throne room you’ve built
In your heart.
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