I've prayed fervently to Swami for a project, maybe a book to write because I need to write! He gave me a plot about a little abused black girl from Fresno. The story is true but I'll never let youall read it because it is too dark. In fact I thought this morning that a good title would be...The Black Child, or even The Black Book but maybe that's too too much black. The child was born in a 'crack house' so it's a little ugly I'll admit.
I sent a copy of the first chapter to a very good friend and she was shocked by it. Well I'll admit being so totally alone for so long in my subsidized flat may have made me a bit gloomy but I think I can squeeze a blog out of the whole subject although I may throw the virtual book into the virtual trash.
She was shocked and said I should get back to my blogs which are uplifting. Hence this blog.
Swami is omnipresent isn't He? He is in ugliness and beauty although He actually said to me once, 'Beauty is God' I've always seen Him everywhere, just like in the Sai Rudram we just posted. He is in those who kill and steal too.
There has been a lot of talk lately about 2012 being 'the last days' I suppose those Mayans could be right what with the cyclones and terrible floods and all that is going on with this 'Arab Spring' thing. This 'spring thing' seems as if it could be leading to a new Arab world but with much suffering first. Swami is in the suffering. He shoots the arrow and makes it hit the mark for transformation. OK maybe its prettier to concentrate on the great end result rather than the bloody war but it's all Him, isn't it?
We have heard some stories about Puttaparthi now that Our Lord is no longer in His body which are not so nice. Drivers are hungry because no one is there to take rickshaws, for instance. A lot of the guys had just bought new ones too. Many of the Kashmiri shops are closing and even doctors are moving their clinics to other towns. Of course there will be confusion and chaos for awhile before things get better. And if the Mayans are right with their predictions, things will get really bad before they get better.
Maybe if we refuse to look at the causes for the decay of our world, our civilization, maybe we refuse to learn the lessons Swami is giving us. Maybe we have to look at these things in order to figure out how to sort them out. Do you think? Or do you think we should only look for the bright light, the good things in life. The spiritual!!
Well I've just been to hell and back. I'm socializing a little more now. But I really have turned a corner. I use my new cane to amble across the street to the Sunshine Senior Center singing in the chorus and reading Time Magazine and smiling at everyone, smiling on the outside and growling on the inside. Maybe I've just answered the question posed by this blog. Maybe it's best to cover up the dark feelings and SMILE, DAMN YOU, SMILE.
I don't think so though. For one thing life is so boring that way. Boring if you don't tell the truth, or allow yourself to focus on the bad things and God knows, I hate to be bored, don't you really?
Yes, no fun being bored! We need something to keep us occupied and sharp, a project like writing. I say, write and write even if you can't publish it. And you can always make a blog online for whatever you want, even sad stories, nothing wrong. In fact, I believe getting things out is more purifying then holding it in to simmer and build up steam, only to explode suddenly or to cause illness.
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