Saturday, October 30, 2010

Swami' Words

Ordinary humans struggle to win material happiness and external pleasures. They do not seek the spiritual bliss (Ananda) that the Atma, their inner reality, can grant. They lose the great opportunity of experiencing it, and they don’t take any steps appropriate for the purpose. All the time, their attention is directed only to the external world. It does not turn inward. Looking outward is the characteristic of animals, not of humans. The important organs of sense perception in the human body - the eye, the nose, the tongue, etc. - all open outward in order to contact external objects. The Sovereign Lord is the embodiment of indivisible sweetness (Rasa), the treasure house of bliss, can be realized only when you look inward. A wise person would gradually and steadily endeavour to look inward and acquire that victory of Bliss.

- BABA

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Still Quiet Lake

After many days of being absolutely alone in my apartment I'm beginning to see His plan for me. At least as it looks this morning. I'll admit that my perception of His plan changes about every 24 hours.

When the lake (You can call it Lake Manosarva, if you like) when the lake is still you can see clear to the bottom and today I think that I can see His plan.

I high tailed to India in 1974 to find Divine myself. And I know that all of the tapas and service I did at the Ashram helped to keep me focused in that direction.....but the water was too muddy. I filled my mind and my heart with India and in a strange way it was like a cancer that devoured me and then metastasized. People said I was more Indian than Indians born there. When Indira Gandhi said, in so many words, 'I will give my life's blood for this country, my India. ' This quote was usually written in conjunction wih a picture of her bloody death. 'Oh Yes,' I thought, 'that is true for me also.. I would happily give India my life's blood.' Well, India didn't want my life's blood in fact India didn't want me at all. Unrequited love.

Where was I. So the Lake in my heart was muddy and cloudy and full of the ripples of love and passion and too much attachment for the promised land. I had simply substituted the entire country for the family I had lost long ago. But the thing I needed most was never realized and that was, of course, my real self. I had come to find myself and found India instead.

Fast forward to Peterborough in St. Petersburg. I suddenly had no place to go when I was expelled from India. So Swami wanted me to go to my sister's house for six months to do some emotional house cleaning. Actually I HAD SPENT MY LIFE LOOKING FOR MY SISTER, MY PRETTY YOUNG SISTER WHO MOTHERED ME AS A SMALL CHILD. Finally Swami put me right in her face and it didn't work out. I was much to out spoken to live in her delicate, fairy tale world of stories past and present. Even though I had become so much more loving and courageous, I was not able to don the old costume of the 'baby sister' even if such a submission would perhaps have given me my beloved sister's love. I was even willing to eat her 'glog, dreadful, bitter turnip greens, fava beans and rice, if it would please her. Trouble was I confessed that I had to eat it while closing my nose and needless to say, she was much annoyed.

Anyway, as you know, I left to live on my own here at Peterborough for really the first time in my life, live with very little money, no telephone and no car, in a completely strange environment known in some circles in St. Pete as, the 'poor house'. That couldn't be further from the truth, by the way. I wasn't entirely sure why Swami was putting me here now but it was very obviously His plan.

This morning I can see all the way through to the bottom of Lake Manasarvar. After days of this solitude I can see that there are gold nuggets at the bottom. Once again I have come to a place in the road which will I hope allow me to find my real self.

I will not return to stressful India as I haven't yet healed from that bloody extraction. I also feel today that I will not go to the Sai Center to join their seva projects. Nor will I start a newsletter here at Peterborough even though everyone seemed to think it was a good plan. Now I will not work for 'everyone' for the first time in my life. I will concentrate on myself. be self absorbed and work for the realization of the true Self.. I will also not return to my sister's house. This is MY place now and I will pretend that it is a cave in the Himalayas and try to go deep within if my Lord Sathya Sai Baba will give me the grace. Frankly, I wonder if I have long to stay in this body anyway and so, it is time to reach the goal....become who I really am now at last.

I had a funny little sort of dream this morning during meditation. I saw about 6 or 8 small pictures of the light in a torch, all the same. I thought Swami was remnding me of one of His stories., A man complained to his guru about his small torch not being adequate to show his way home through the forest. The guru pointed out that each step was lighted by the small torch and slowly he could advance through the forest in the dim light of the small torch.

I think Swami was telling me that where as I do not have a blinding light now to advance through the forest of worldly existence, my own light is sufficient if I proceed slowly. So you see, here I am in my lovely cave in this ivory tower on the 15th floor and I know that Swami will show me, one step at a time, how to reach the goal.

I guess its a blog

I've been staring at the sky so there's a huge white cast over the keys now from my eyes and I can hardly see to type. There are lots and lots of scattered thin clouds in the sky this morning and it's easy to see Swami's face in them everywhere....but that's duality isn't it?

I realized after breakfast that, as usual I wasn't thinking about the Lord, so I tried to imagine His form sitting next to me. This is never satisfying to say the least. Then I tried to see Him in the clouds which pushed Him even further away and hurt my eyes.

Duality! Swami and I are one, right? But how to picture that. Should I think about His attributes? Hey wait a minute, if we are one or I should say,BECAUSE we are one, I could think about my own attributes. I don't want to do that because I want to think about Swami now. He tells us to think of Him every moment and than we will become Him. (I really should have thought this through before turning on the computer.)

This is easier said than done because I can't even think about Him at all this morning. Is there a way to picture the Lord inside us? Shall we wad up His entire form and try to stuff it into our hearts? He says not to do that. He says that we are inside Him rather than the opposite.

I'm not doing so well this morning. Maybe this isn't really a blog at all and I should just delet it. I don't have to do a blog every day! Still maybe these thoughts are worth pursuing. I have a feeling it isn't going to reach any tidy little conclusion, though.

We are IN Him. So He is this new spiffy apartment of mine which I love and which gives me such bliss to even walk from one room to another. Ah He is that bliss. So I guess I have to move away from His form again. He has told us a million times that He is not that 5 ft. 2 form in the orange dress but gosh that form is so precious to us. So much more beautiful than the scene out my 15th story window overlooking the lake or this spiffy apartment.

But somehow I thought just maybe I could get past duality once and for all and KNOW that He and I are one. I just don't know how to do that. Maybe it is a transcendental state, maybe you have to meditate to reach that state, not just lounge on the couch. Yes but meditation is supposed to be a constant state, we should always be in meditation. Oh come off it, who are you kidding. Even when I am trying to meditate I'm not really meditating. Swami says in meditation the mind stops and there are no more thoughts so I guess I haven't really meditated very much, certainly not this morning when I kept falling asleep.

I wish some of you could help me with this. Its pretty easy to log on to this blog and express yourself. I knew this blog would end up this way because I don't have an answer or a conclusion....but at least I've spend almost an hour thinking about the Lord and causing you to think about the Lord too. Or to think about....thinking about the Lord because we haven't really been thinking about the Lord at all, have we? Maybe I should have just deleted this.


Sunday, October 24, 2010

Atmic Arch Ladies

Well, what about those ladies who always sit in first or second arch? His side long glances are able to turn a pig's ear into a silk purse, aren't they, even at one glance? They are laser beams which sear off and pulverize our hardest karma, the barnacles on the bottoms of our little boats which we hope will take us across the seas of samsara. Wow, talk about mixing metaphors! Do you think those laser beam glances are really so powerful as that? Swami has said that His name is so powerful that chanting it once will bring liberation. I think He said that. And His glances are so much more powerful than chanting His name, aren't they? Its impossible to judge these things, of course and I hope you know that I've got my tongue pressed firmly in my cheek.

But let's get back to those ladies sitting there in the front rows, all the time. And what about those ladies sitting on the pedestal, the first arch ladies. They can certainly be included. And the 'step ladies'? Ah yes don't exclude them. They demand that the second arch ladies move over so they can have room for their feet. They get to see the Lord over the heads of the second arch and yet they have to have 'feet room reservations' as well. Two special seats for them when many ladies can't even get into the Hall. It really did annoy me that they would demand room for their feet. Special seating for their bottoms and there feet, for heaven's sake.

Theere has always been some spirit of competition among the ladies. Did I tell you the story of 'the arches'? You see many years ago when I was a mire 60 ...or maybe 50, there really were arches. These were cement arches with pretty pictures on the front, giving shade to the ladies and a nice raised place off the sand. The picture for the first arch ladies closer to the gate was of a couple of lions. and the second arch had a picture of rabbits. Ladies whose husbands were allowed to sit on the veranda sat in the arches with the lions and the ladies whose husband had good positions on the staff were allowed to sit with the rabbits.

Anyway now you may be relieved to know the derivation of those phrases.

The point of this blog is to try to evaluate the effect of Swami's laser beam crystal star galactic glances, which are more powerful than anything in the cosmos. But anyway, do we know just how all these fortunate ladies have evaded the commitment of liberation. Why in the hell aren't we all liberated? We certainly had many of these glorious glances. I posed this question to a dear friend the other day and she said....maybe you are. And she really knows me too, knows me better than to make a dumb remark like that. I wouldn't be so outspoken if I were self realized. I wouldn't have had to leave India because I would have flown to Delhi and fought for righteousness. And I would be thinking of Him every second of the day and night instead of on the hour. Lots of things would be different. I wouldn't feel guilty either that I'm not enlightened after He gave me so much grace for so long but seems to have given up now.

This blog is supposedly about the power of His sublime laser glances and I'm afraid that I'm a living example of Sai Failure. Please forgive me, Swami, I'll never forgive myself.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Doing the Lord's work


I was thinking about the days when I was a social worker for Los Angeles county. I think that even when I wasn't aware of it I was really working for the Lord. In the 60's I was a life long agnostic as were many of my colleges. I loved those people though unconditionally even when I didn't see the God in them at all. They were in need and touched my heart and I don't think I was ever happier. I was working for Swami even then.

But now I have a question. Was I working for the Lord or was the Lord working through me? Big difference, one is full of ego and one is full of surrender. I continued to be a social worker when I made my first trip to the holy land and I think that I realized early that He was working through me. I had a case load of very tough cases of child abuse and I'm sure I realized that I was really ill-equipped to handle such a load but I did and seemed to be helping the parents to do a better job with the kids or to allow placement. I had only recently graduated from college too so I had very little to offer to them but love. I always seemed to have plenty of that. A couple threatened to kill me but the unconditional love continued to flow. I didn't realize it was flowing from Swami..
When I decided to live at Swami's ashram, someone asked me what I would do with my free time and I replied that I would probably write. My parents were both writers and my siblings but I'm sure Swami set me up to say that.

That remark may not have come from any deep heart felt desire to write but now I see it was the precursor to a new career for me, writing books for Swami and not, as I thought at first, only a good way to pass the time.

Swami saw it as a good transformative tool to get me on the path of service. Yes, Swami was working through me even though I wasn't aware of it. At first I thought that I was working for Swami and was happy to receive the usual perks, special seating and closer Darsan. You know lots of people who work for Swami get special sitting; teachers, students, hospital staff and people who work in the stores. Of course the reason we value the perks is for closer Darsan. On festivals when it is so crowded only the people with special sitting can even get in to sit down and on ordinary days, as if there is any thing ordinary abut Darsan of the Lord Incarnate, on regular days we very often got to sit closer and just maybe were blessed with brief eye contact. That is the fruit of all fruits. I can remember leaving the Hall early on some days and having to somehow push through huge crowds in order to get out. Also there were times during major festivals when we were actually afraid of the crowds. Usually Shivaratri was scary. I recall several times when ladies got hurt. As a matter of fact, many times special seating didn't really do much good. With my bum knees it took me forever to get up and on my feet and the ladies in back would simply plow right over us. I think when I go back again I'll try to get a chair but....then I won't get that close Darsan. That's worth anything. But what were we talking about? Oh yes, working fort he Lord may be an ego trip but surrendering to the Lord who is working through us is not. Or is it? knows.

Dear Sai Baba Devotees holding US passports,



OM SAI RAM

This is to update you on the main issues brought up during the recent Town Hall and Warden's Meetings hosted by the US Consulate General in Hyderabad.

We would also like to let you know that your questions and concerns are always taken very much to heart, and were presented to Consular Officials who then took them to the newly appointed FRRO.

A bullet style format will be used below..

- The Consulate website is http./ hyderabad.usconsulate.gov (for information,appointments, forms etc)

- American Citizens Services (ACS) website is hydacs@state.gov (for letters to ACS)

- The telephone number for the US Consulate General in Hyderabad is: 040-40338033

-Registration of one's stay or visit with the Consulate can be done by telephoning American Citizen Services (phone above) or filling out the form on the Consulate website above.

Registration is of primary importance to the Consulate as it allows the Consulate to fulfill its duty of safeguarding the lives of US Citizens.

To cancel your registration, please go to the ACS website above.

-The Privacy Act remains in effect unless you choose to sign a waiver giving the Consulate permission reveal information about you.

-The Consulate does not loan money, however, a 'Repatriation Loan" may be obtained by a destitute citizen. This consists of a one way ticket home and $50. The passport will be withheld until the loan is paid.

- For voting information, go to www.fvap.gov

-ACS provides all passport services.
Please go to the Consulate website above for procedures, and to make an appointment.

-Notary Services are available for documents to be used in the US (no school records please). You may consult the Consulate website for particulars.

-"A Consular Report of Birth Abroad" may be obtained from ACS. NB: Your baby may require an Indian Exit Permit.

-"A Report of the Death of an American Citizen Abroad" can be issued by the Consulate.
The death of an American needs to be reported to the US Consulate.

-In the case of medical emergencies, natural disasters, arrests, victims of crime, death, welfare and whereabouts, The Consulate can help by notifying the next of kin if you so desire, and sign a waiver of the Privacy Act.

-ACS is also prepared to provide you with a list of lawyers (not a recommendation) in the Hyderabad area, and will even come to visit you in prison if an arrest takes place.

The Consulate does not interfere with the due process of Indian Law, however.

-Warden Messages are now available to all at the Consulate website above.

-Travel Alerts and Warnings are available at http://travel.state

-It is highly recommended that you carry a photocopy of your passport and visa with you and also keep another copy where you will have access to it in the event of a stolen passport.

* * * * * * * * *

On October 1st, Celia Thompson, Chief of ACS, and Michael Yoder, Chief of the Consular Section, along with Shirin from ACS, very kindly went to visit the newly appointed Regional Foreigner's Registration Officer (FRRO), with a list of questions from citizens in the Puttaparthi area.

While it is true that US citizens in the immediate Hyderabad/Secunderabad area may have recourse to the FRRO and some expanded services, we in the Puttaparthi area continue to fall under the jurisdiction of Mr.M. K. Sinha, SP and FRO in Anantapur, and the FRO assistant, Mr. Srinivas, who is available at Prashanthi Nilayam Ashram, N7, on Wednesdays.

We pray that all of you had a wonderful Dasara and wish you a very special Deepavali.

If you wish to participate in a compilation of miracles experienced by US citizens, foreigners and devotees living abroad, particularly accounts of how you happened to come to Swami, please be so kind as to contact margotomsairam@yahoo.com

Sai love and Blessings of peace and happiness always,

Margot A. Hoagland

Volunter Warden,US Consulate ACS, Puttaparthi Area

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wilma Bronkey has passed on...


Dear Sai Family:

Many of you may already know that our beloved 92 year old Dr. Wilma Louise Bronkey has gone home to be with Swami. She was, as was her wish, at home at Enchanted Acres with Ivan on Thursday morning, October 7, 2010 when she passed on to Him.

We would like to invite you to attend a memorial service on Saturday, November 20 at 2 PM at Enchanted Acres to be followed by a potluck. Please let us know if you will be able to attend by contacting me at 541-386-8355 or galearnold@aol.com. (FYI, we also intend to go ahead with plans for the 2011 Sai Family Reunion during the Fourth of July in her honor and will be sending more information later).

A small group of close friends gathered with Ivan on this last Saturday night for beautiful bhajans, wonderful food, and we also shared stories that filled us with gratitude and laughter about her full and wonderful life.

If you would like to call or send a card to Ivan, he is at 1151 Summit Loop Road, Grants Pass, OR 97527. The phone at Enchanted Acres is: 541-479-9066, his cell phone is 541-291-6063.

Swami once said to Wilma that she was a “near and dear” devotee. All of us who have shared a portion of her life are filled with gratitude for her inspirational life of selfless service, her wisdom and insight, and most of all the unconditional love and healing light that radiated from every ounce of her form to each of us.

We would like to begin collecting your personal Wilma stories for her service so that many voices can be heard, even those who cannot make the trip and travel to join us. So, please send me your favorites! And, please feel free to forward this email on to others who may not have heard.

We send you much love in remembrance of our beloved Mother Wilma,

Gale Arnold
Secretary, Enchanted Acres Institute, Inc.
October 13, 2010

Gender issues


This morning we are going to tackle a very big issue, sex
Well it seems that I got your attention didn't I? Even Swami and my precious programmer probably have deleted this blog already. You know I didn't actually mean sex per se, but our relationships with the opposite sex is the real ssue. In the west we Sai Graduates must grapple with this issue at some time or other. Perhaps that was badly put.
At the ashram we are so very protected from these sorts of things. I never felt comfortable even having a male guest in my room for more than a few minutes...accept for business like with my programmer. I knew Swami wouldn't like it other wise.
As a single woman I had almost no relationships with guys at all even before I found Swami. Becoming a devotee made it even more impossible. So when I'm in a group now I sit with the ladies and even avoid eye contact with 'the other'. My ashram training still holds true.
But I have lived here in my new apartment for a week sleeping on a mattress on the floor because I couldn't put up the frame. It is an antique and I thought it might require some screws and bolts and things to set it up. Yesterday I was zipping down the hall on another floor when I almost stumbled over a bicycle. It had tool kits on it and I knew that it might be my best chance to get that bed assembled. So I called out a sweet 'hello' at an already open door knowing that probably a dreaded 'gent' would answer.
He did. About 10 years younger than I am, Jerry is tall and fairly sturdy in comparison to the other fellows in this building who are mostly using walkers or wheel chairs.
'Yes' he said, 'can I help you?”
“Oh God,' I replied a little nervously, I then proceeded to pour out my sad story about the old bed. To shorten the story surface it to say he came to my rescue and put the antique bed together. It wasn't so easy and he had to bring up some washers and screws before using his wrench, he put the wooden slats together and then the springs and then the mattress. It looks so beautiful especially with the lavender quilt my sister gave me. Betty says it must be at least 200 years old.
Later that afternoon I had another brain storm. I have had so much trouble getting a telephone. At first I was afraid to even move in without a phone but that was a week ago and I'm still ;phoneless' I purchased A MAGIC JACK DEVISE for 45 DOLLARS WHICH ONE PLUGS INTO THE COMPUTER AND A TELEPHONE GIVING UNLIMITED CALLS FOR ONE YEAR Only problem was I couldn't get it to work.
They gave me a telephone number and registered me but it didn't work. They read....those dreaded words....we don't recognize you password.
I am in disparate need of a phone and so I thought just maybe Jerry, who was an English Professor at one time, maybe Jerry could fix that too.
I knocked on his door with the magic jack held straight out in my trembling hand.
'I can't get this thing to work,' I explained.
He took it from me trying to understand.
'But what can I do?' He asked
'You're so smart, I began coyly
'Have you called Magic jack. com?' he asked
'Yes but I didn't understand.'
'Ok, I'll be right there,' he said kindly
'Eureka' I breathed. Maybe I can use it after all and save about 500 dollars. See all my friends from the ashram live all over the US and I really need a phone with unlimited calls.
So he came again into my apartment to get me over the next hurdle.
It took a few hours and finally we called my sister and she was delighted. I think more about Jerry then the telephone. They never give up do they, always our mothers and mother substitutes want us to tie the know even when we're 75 years old for God's sake. Sweet though in a way.
You know I think magic jack deliberately make this device as difficult as possible. They gave me a new password and I mistook the i for an 1 and the o for an 0. But finally I successfully called my sister.
'He fixed my bed, betty and my phone and now I can call you.'
'He fixed your bed?'
'Yeah he put it together.'
Later Jerry and I stood by the window watching the pink and blue sunset. It was a nice moment.
'I stand looking out of my window for hours at a time,' he said.
'Must be your way of meditating,' I mused.
Brother-sister, mother-son, these relationships, platonic relationships, are common in the west, Swami. Really Swami, really, you have to believe me.
Magic jack is not working today. I have to bother him again but I'll give it a few days ....what to do. Must be Swami's will

Monday, October 18, 2010

Om Sairam dearest Sai Family

Dasara greetings to one and all.. The festivity of Dasara has come to an end. Swami out of His immense grace had permitted for Grama Seva which was indeed a 10 days rigorous yagna for the students.
The Anantapur Campus students were awake the whole night for mixing the tamarind rice, for making laddus and for packing. Each packet of tamarind rice weigh about 360 grams. The sisters from Anantapur were given clear instructions to pack the right weight and definitely not less than 360 grams if not more than that.
Every day a minimum of 30,000 packets of tamarind rice were readied for the boys to go around villages for distribution. This year, on the occasion of Swami's 85th birthday and also on request from many villages, quite a few villages were added in the list for Grama Seva 2010 which in total became 170 villages.
It is a mammoth task taken up by the Avatar of this Kali Age, our beloved Swami and the whole programme went on very well and why not, when the Lord Himself has taken up the task of sharing love with our fellow beings.
17th October 2010: Morning Darshan:
The stage was well set for the Poornahuthi programme which signifies the culmination of the 7 days yagna performed in Poorna Chandra auditorium. Dasara festival of yesteryears were completely different to what we saw this year. couple of years ago, Swami used to speak all 7 days which included talks by various speakers. Those were the most memorable days.
This year, thousands of devotees thronged the ashram for the divine darshan. The beautifully decorated Sai Kulwanth hall was also filled up by 7:30 am. All eyes were set on the curtains of the dais of Poornachandra Auditorium hoping to catch the first sight of the beautiful form of our beloved Lord. The priests were chanting the vedas and simultaneously bhajans started in Sai Kulwanth hall at 9pm. Every one were surprised when Swami's chair was brought on the dais and arathi was offered to Swami in Swami's absence 9:30 am in Sai Kulwath Hall.
The scene now shifted to Poornachandra auditorium. The fire in the yagna kunda was burning incessantly. The preists had stopped chanting and were waiting for Swami. Suddenly a word was sent that the morning darshan was cancelled and the Poornahuthi was postponed to the evening. It was little bit shocking for every one. As far as I remember, Poornahuthi was never done in the evening and Swami never stayed indoors, especially on dasara morning. The same thing happened on Gurupoornima morning this year.
17th October 2010:Evening Darshan:
As Swami didn't come out for morning darshan, there was lots of anxiety and anticipation among devotees. All the devotees lined up to get into Poorna chandra hall. by 3:15pm the auditorium was full. This time all the priests were seated in Sai Kulwanth hall, as Swami was expected there first and then to Poorna Chandra Auditorium. It was 4:15, 5:15 pm... time seemed to run very fast and now every one of us started praying more vigorously for our beloved Lord to grant darshan.
It was 6pm, Swami out of His immense grace and love granted darshan as the priests welcomed Him with holy chants into Sai Kulwath hall. Swami after making a complete round, asked all the preists to assemble in Poorna Chandra Auditorium. The priests, the Prasanthi Vedam boys, headed by brother Sri.Veda narayan came to Poorna chandra Auditorium and were seated on the dais. In few minutes, Swami came on to the dais. Immediately, the priests completed the Poornahuthi ritual at about 6:25 pm. The ceremony was very short and simple.
It reminded me of the good old days, when Swami used to sit in front of the fire, bless all the priests and at the end used to materialise gems to be offered into the Yagna Kunda (pit). This year it was entirely different. It was a very short programme. The priests made maximum use of Swami's presence, by taking Padanamaskar. One priest got up and sang an emotional poem praising the Sathya Sai Avatar for coming on to the earth to restore Dharma.The preist while rendering the poem, was eloquent both in poetry and in action.Swami was very much impressed with him and put both His hand on his head.
The priests then surrounded Swami and started chanting Durga Suktham, Manthra Pushpam and Ganapathi Prarthana

It was 6:45 pm and the students brought the prasadam for His blessings. After blessing the same, Swami went inside and all of us thought He would come out as the arathi was not yet offered. In about 10 minutes we came to know that Swami had already gone to His residence.
Dasara 2010 ended without a mangala arathi to Swami even though Poornahuthi was blessed by Swami. The ceremonial sprinkling of the holy water on devotees also didn't happen. This Dasara, has sent a strong message to all of us, probably asking us to come out of the body attatchment, see Swami more in our hearts than the Physical body of Swami. Only Swami knows why, but lets be ready for more surprises like these in the near future....

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Settling In


Finally I am here in my own little flat in Peterborough. I love it and it is so perfect that only Swami could have arranged it. Even my sister believes that. I've told you about it before so we don't need to go into the square footage and all. T he rooms are spacious and the view from the 15th floor spectacular.
I moved in with very little furniture but the residents are so nice. They have provided a wonderful table with four chairs for my TV and computer, a recliner for watching TV without my hip being too painful, a toaster oven and a microwave, for free, a wonderful white metal shelf for my alter for five dollars and a fake butcher block table on rollers for the side of my bed and three lamps. My sister brought over a floor lamp to use by my bed, another roll table, a coffee table and so much other stuff. I started out with nothing but two suitcases full of clothes. Mother Lakshmi has been benevolent. After all this is Dasara, isn't it? My favorite festival and the first Dasara I've been away from Swami's ashram for 30 years. I wonder if anyone has garlanded Lakshmi and Saraswati in the round house garden.
Naturally I've been doing a lot of thinking. It's always the same topic, namely why did the Lord send me away. Unfortunately I think I've found the culprit to be my lack of faith. Do I really believe in God?
The last few years at Prashanthi found me worried much of the time. My health has
been bad for years. Now I find that I besides diabetics, arthritis in my knees, and this chronic sinus infection, I have Bronchitis and I am quite anemic so I pretty much dragged myself back and forth to Darsan exhausted and somewhat depressed. Now since returning, the arthritis has gotten much worse in the hip, making it difficult to stand or walk. I'm sure youall find all this fascinating!
Anyway, I began to worry because I am 75. I worried about a stroke happening in India. I saw myself in an Indian nursing home staring at the ceiling. mute and alone. I worried about Alzheimers. Who would care for me. I was so afraid that I even spoke to a lady doctor who sits in second arch. She said she would take care of me. It was a complete lack of faith in Swami's love and power and I think I'm paying for it now. I think that I'm silly to even think about liberation when I have so little faith in God to begin with.
So here I am on my own again. I'm praying that the peace and contentment I had at Prasanthi can be found here also. All day I talk to Swami and no one else and that bliss is beginning to soothe my mind. Swami says bliss is our natural state and that it has nothing to do with happiness or sorrow or the senses for that matter.
Happiness. I have realized lately that India didn't make me happy. The Ashram, heavenly as it was, didn't bring me happiness. No, it was only Swami who brought me happiness and it doesn't make any difference where we are, with His grace, we will be blissful happy if it is His will
This is the first blog I've attempted in weeks. I had a cup of coffee this morning too and I think that helps. I hope so.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

South Africa


Another unusual week. There were many surprises. Three performances, one morning appearance and several evening darshan without the physical presence of Baba.

Tuesday - September 28th.The highlight of this week was South Africa who came with over 2500 people including hundreds of children who were part of “Ubuntu” a 50-minute musical drama which has won several awards in its 9 month run. The casts consisted of over 350 students from 4 Sathya Sai schools in South Africa along with SSE and Bal Vikas children.

While waiting for Baba to arrive, South Africans were seated on both side of the white tile near the mandir. The men sat where the students usually sit. Rudram ended as usual at 5:30. While we sat in silence waiting for Baba’s arrival, we wondered when he was coming. As it got dark, the question was more pressing.

At 7:00 the hall lit up by his presence came to life. Everyone energized, awoken to eyes front. When Baba came in front of the backdrop, he saw some of the performers that were in costumes.

When Baba arrived at verandah center, he smiled and said to some students that “They have come from South Africa”. The program got underway with offerings. In the process Baba looked at 2 albums with pictures. He viewed each page. One album contained letters written by the children.

More than the healings and materializations that Baba does, His taking time to read each letter is a better sign of divinity.

Ubuntu was the story of South Africa from the time the first inhabitants came through the arrival of Europeans and Indians as well as its apartheid years and struggle for freedom with Mahatma Gandhi and Nelson Mandela. All of this brought these people to Sai Baba who was credited with making the success of liberation possible.

It consisted of singing, dancing and acting using people dressed in period costumes and some dressed as animals and plants to convey the message of Unity in Diversity. The story was told by 5 jungle animals: elephant, buffalo, rhino, lion and leopard engaged in conversations with a tribal chief.

The presentation had two adult choirs and 2 children choirs. Two on each side.

There were four conductors. I only saw two but the reports say there were four. They did a terrific job. The children choirs also waved different flags when necessary.

African drums and instrument were used. In addition, classical Carnatic music was played when the Indian arrived in South Africa.

The entire performance held everyone’s attention.

Perfection was seen. Outstanding, magnificent, incredible, excellent acting and singing and a night to remember would be just some of the ways to describe it.

Baba was moved. He was engrossed in it. After which, he went to the white tile spending about 15 minutes with the several hundred performers and additional crew.

When Baba came to the white tile, a little miracle took place. A boy who had difficulty walking got out of his wheelchair to walk to Baba. He bent down to take namaskar.

He had a big smile on his face. Baba called him to come closer and when he did Baba touched his head. When the boy got up, he sort of danced his way back to his wheelchair. The fact that he was able to get to Baba was a display of intense will and love for God.

After arathi, Baba presented a crying girl with a photo that had been taken of the group. She walked over and gave Baba a bunch of letters.

It was 9:00 when Baba left. Reports are that he didn’t want to leave but had to so people would eat and get to sleep.


It was a blessing and grace that made it possible for us to be there. The intensity of Love that flowed both ways affected everybody.


However a fine performance was given on:


Saturday – September 25th. It was Uttar Pradesh and Uttarakhand turn to present a musical drama. When Baba came into the hall at 5:35, the Vedic chanting was accompanied by the beating of traditional drums from this region.


After spending a few minutes reading letters at verandah center, Baba gave the signal for the drama to begin. Some children dressed as priest brought a temple structure to Baba which represented the spiritual and cultural heritage of the area.


The play was “Syan Sya Aradhana”, a dance drama based on the cultural traditions

in the northern part of Uttarakhand. It was actually a tribute to the Supreme Lord which is Sai Baba. The folk songs and dances were performed in traditional ways.


One highlight was the harvest dance, Krishi Nritya, which consisted of a farmer and 2 bullocks. The human bullocks with their mask and movements had Baba laughing.

As the desperate farmer tired to get his bullock under control, Baba turned to his side to laugh with the students.


The Jodha Dance to the Mother Goddess (Sai) was very warmly received.


The finale was a commitment to continue to follow Baba’s teachings.


After which, Baba posed for pictures with the boys and then the girls as well as allowing padanamaskar.


When shirts and pants were being given out to the men and sari’s to the girls, Baba teased as to whether the dancers (boys) who were dressed as girls should get sari’s.


The style of dancing was different from what I had seen before. However, the crowd enjoyed it. I think because they understood the words.


Arathi was at 7:15.


Another wonderful performance was given on

Thursday – September 30th. It was the youth from Maharashtra turn to perform.


Baba came to verandah center at 6:45. At 7:20 the first part of the program started. First boys and later girls representing Maharashtra districts came before Baba presenting album and other mementos of their seva activities while other youths were singing songs.


After 15 minutes, the drama entitled, “Anjaneya Veera” began with Lord Rama telling a devotee that it was His Will that He would narrate the story of Hanuman this day instead of Hanuman singing about Rama's glory.


The story began with the tale of Hanuman's mysterious birth with the blessing of Wind God, his tutelage under Sun God, his wrangle with Lord Indra, initiation into the Rama Mantra, and meeting up with Valmiki, etc.

The narration was highlighted by dramatic scenes such as when Valmiki told Hanuman that he wrote about his feats in his Ramayana. An infuriated Hanuman tore the manuscript to pieces saying only Rama deserves name, fame and glory.

The play continued with Hanuman's meeting with Sugreeva, slaying of Bali, crossing over to Lanka to fight for Sita and the post coronation of Rama where duties were being divided.

As told by Baba in his Rama Katha Rasavahini, Hanuman got the responsibility for watching Rama for when he yawns.

The final scene was of Hanuman refusing Rama offer of liberation. To him the chanting of “Rama” was more precious. Hundreds of Maharashtra youth waved saffron flags, showing their allegiance to Hanuman's exemplary devotion. Anecdotes from the lives of Bhadrachala Ramdas, Goswami Tulsidas and Samartha Ramdas were also illustrated.

After the presentation, Bhagawan went to the performers to pose for photographs. Arathi was at 8:40.

It was a good way to end the month.

Wednesday – September 29th. When Baba came into the hall at 8:15, he went through the women’s and men’s section till he got to center white tile where he proceeded down the center driveway. His car was called for and met him at the gate. Baba went for a ride till about 2km away in the direction of the Super Speciality Hospital.

When he returned at 8:45, Baba went into the interview room after a brief darshan. At 9:55 Baba emerged. Arathi was at 10.

Sunday – September 26th. Baba came into the hall at about 9:30 reaching verandah center at 9:45. After arathi at 10:05, Baba sat for another 10 minutes before going to the interview room. He left for his residence at 10:35.

In the afternoon, during bhajans we wondered as to whether Baba was coming. It seemed as though he wasn’t. Suddenly, security got very busy. Baba entered the hall at 6:38. He gave a very nice darshan. When he reached verandah center at 6:50, bhajans got peppier and intense.

After arathi at 7:20, Baba remained 5 minutes to bless birthday students.

Monday – September 27th. Baba came at 6:35. When he reached the verandah, Baba went into the interview room for 40 minutes. Afterwards, when he reached verandah center at 7:50, bhajans became very intense. Arathi was at 7:50. It was nice to see Baba. There were fewer people with the hall being a bit quieter.

Attached are several photos from Ubuntu including the one of the boy getting out of his wheelchair and being blessed by Baba.

The roads are better but work is still being done in the Hanuman Temple area.

New signs have been put up at different places in the ashram. The Ganesh Gate has an exit sign while the entrance is clearly identified.

The people at the entrance are enforcing dress codes. I saw one man had to open his backpack to get pants and shirt as they would not let him in shorts. I have heard of woman being stopped too.