Cock roaches

Well, I'm limping back to normal. I've been sitting at the bottom of
the pole for about two weeks this time, curled up on the floor. This
depression is like the dark matter of the universe and I feel as if I
fall into these black holes. It's terrible but I think it's in my DNA
because my grandfather use to write about his 'meloncholia' . I have
no idea how to spell that ...mellon...colia...anyway he use to write
about it. My father also got depressed but he'd had a heart attack
and had to 'sit out' the second world war so that's why he was
depressed. I was exiled from heaven which was very depressing to say
the least. But some people never get depressed. They get mad; that
was my Aries Mama. Daddy and I were Librans, always trying to figure
out where we went wrong.
Anyway this time the doctor, or nurse Practitioner, prescribed an
anti=depression pill and it seems to be working. For the first few
days it was like my brain was wrapped in cotton but slowly, slowly I'm
feeling normal again today. I have a feeling I won't climb as high on
the pole this time either which means I won't fall as far. But that
black hole is always there waiting to suck me down. It really does
'suck' as they say.
My meditation has gone from bad to worst. For awhile after I moved
into my little cave here, the meditation was pretty good; better than
it's ever been. I took that as a gift from Swami because of all the
suffering I was enduring. But as my life picked up and I started
doing stuff like acting and singing at the Senior Center, the
meditations were shorter and more difficult. I suppose that was just
because I had more things to think about, to interfere with the 'blank
mind'. Then when these depressions started the meditation became
hopeless. Everything is a gift from Him and so I waited for Him to
quiet the mind again.
When I was given the anti-depressant pills I was a little worried
because I thought they would 'un-focus' my mind but the opposite has
happened. Well, maybe my mind has not been 'focused' by these pills
but they have helped to create more of a witness to my own mind. I
have been watching it struggle to keep the thoughts out and this
morning I had a great idea.
See, we have cock roaches in the building. I've lived in India and
in my sister's house and here and a few other places in Florida long
ago and there have always been cock roaches. Of course it might be
because I'm not a terrific house keeper but I prefer to believe it's
because this is the tropics and everyone has cock roaches.
Controlling them is a constant fight. One has a few cans of Raid
handy to flit the little things when ever they crawl out. I say, 'God
bless you' and then 'zap' them dead...hoping they will go on to a
better life. So, this morning I pictured the tall bright yellow can
of Raid and whenever a thought would appear on the clear sky of my
mind I zapped it...and then zapped the picture of the yellow can. It
really seems to work. Swami use to say, keep those thoughts outside
the door of your mind and don't let them in. Well I can't keep them
out, they are too subtle and appear before you know it but...like lots
of tiny cock roaches, I zap them dead and then zap the zapper, the
can. Anyway, it really worked this morning and I had about the best
meditation I've ever had. I zapped that thought too!

THERE WILL BE NO STATE OF EMERGENCY FOR MY DEVOTEES

“THERE WILL BE NO STATE OF EMERGENCY FOR MY DEVOTEES”
Anil Kumar spoke about the students, who are always writing letters to Swami. These are letters of thanksgiving, of gratitude.
As a joke, Swami said to them: “You are all writing letters! Oh, too many, too many! Don’t write letters hereafter, OK? I shall not take letters hereafter. No, no. I don’t take because everyone is writing a letter.”
So Swami said ‘No, no, no, no letters.’
The boys said, "Swami, please."
I said softly, "Bhagavan, at least permit some letters that need Your immediate attention: Emergency – during a period of emergency."
Do you know what Bhagavan said? (What Swami says to boys is only an incident to convey His profound philosophy.) “Emergency? Emergency? There will be no state of emergency for My devotees. There is no state of emergency for My devotees. You don’t have to write to Me. If the situation is so dangerous, if you call it a ‘state of emergency’, I know how to take care of My devotees. I attend to their demands. I look after their necessities and needs. Don’t pick up this word ‘emergency’.”
There’s no emergency, so far as Bhagavan Sri Sathya Sai Baba and His devotees are concerned. What an assurance is His! What a wonderful thing He said!

I love Baba

Sai Ram,

I love Baba more than anything and as much as I have seen Baba walking around
at centers and other places where I was, there was never any doubt about Baba being with me. Sai has demonstrated many times that he knows all of my thoughts. He acts upon them before I take action.

When I returned to Puttaparthi, I went into shock. The physical form was not there.
At times as I sat listening to Rudram and bhajans, His presence was felt. Three times, (during arathi, during bhajans and after leaving the hall), I smelled jasmine. So there is no doubt about his walking about and blessing people.

One morning the vibration of his energy was so strong that I didn’t go up to the Samadhi. It came to me. It was not just to me but the energy went through out the hall.

It remains unfortunate that such few people are coming. My own experience is that it is completely true that Baba visits every center during their bhajans and other activities. He blesses everyone. Of this there is no doubt.

But the MahaSamadhi is the home of the greatest being to ever walk on this planet. His physical body was left behind so we get charged with his energy while Baba remains busy implementing the goals that he said would happen.

Meanwhile, I have felt helpless even with all the prayers I uttered until a few minutes ago, when I started writing. I guess I was depressed but it was more than that. I am better now.

I will write this report and afterward fill in with some other reports that are waiting. Look at the date to know what period it is covering.

Puttaparthi – Prasanthi Nilayam is and will always be the greatest place to be in the entire universe. Come now and enjoy the quiet.

As sure as I am writing, the day will dawn when thousands of new people will come to experience Baba every day.

Also, The greatest event in the advent of Sathya Sai Baba has not happened yet. Are you ready? Is the world ready? I am not sure if any one is ready but it will happen. While I am not sure when, It appears that it will be within the next few years.

I am leaving April 27th and will return on June 27th. I will remain here until the end of December when I may have to leave again.

The weather is great with temperature getting up to about 33 or 34 or into the low 90’s. During the night, there has been a nice cooling breeze.

The biggest surprise to me has been the institution of 50 and 100 Rupee coupons at the Western Canteen. You buy the coupons on the outside of the building in the middle. The cashier crosses off the amount of your meal. What is left over can be used the next time. If you have extra when you are ready to leave, your money will be refunded.

Contrary to some misleading signs inside the canteen, shoes are allowed.

Another major change was the price increase in the South Indian Canteen. Tea and coffee is now 4 rupees. Meals have also risen in price. But the canteen still remains the best bargain in town. There are also special arrangements to those who can’t afford to pay for food

One other major happening is that Kulwant Hall switched over to Summer Time in the afternoon. Entrance is at 4:30 with Rudram at 5:00, bhajans at 5:45 and arathi at 6:30 with darshan following. Morning schedule remains the same.

Outside the ashrams, several restaurants have closed for March and part of April.
However there are still places to eat. No one need go hungry.

I discovered that for those of you with foreign passports and love to travel by train that you have a right to demand a seat aboard a train by showing your passport a day before you want to travel. Many trains are full but there are seats reserved for foreigners.

I also discovered that the special train from Puttaparthi to Chennai is usually booked 2 months ahead of time.

Sai Baba has stated that he want Ati Rudram Maha Yagna performed in every country. So far, ARMY has been done in Malaysia and Thailand with China for next year. A group in Russia is planning one for the end on May. It status as of this writing is unclear.

For those of you who want to do an ARMY in your country, help is available.

An articles has circulated on the internet called “Sathya Sai Baba on 2012”. It is supposed to be an interview that Baba gave a particular person. It never happened.
The article is not true. There is no reason to fear 2012. In fact, I expect that as the years go on that it will turn out to be a turning point to Light.

For those of you who have been worried about Isaac Tiggrett, he is alive, well and healthy and in Puttaparthi.

Sunday – March 4. Outgoing Anantapur students presented a 45 minute Gratitude Program. With songs, poems and commentary as well as sharing personal experiences, their Joys, Love and knowing that Baba is always with them was expressed with every action.

Thursday – March 8. About 700 people from Bihar and Jharkhand arrived for a 2 day celebration of Holi celebrated with lots of color and enthusiasm. The evening program was a 50 minute musical concert by Kumari Jyotsna which I wished would had gone on for at least another hour. Her devotional musical opened our hearts and filled our souls. Baba presence was everywhere with the joy.
Bihar and Jharkhand led bhajans for 15 minutes before Baba concluded with his Thursday evening bhajan. It was nice having bhajans with a different rhythm.

Friday - March 9. In the morning was a palanquin procession outside the ashram resulted in many people being covered with different color dyes. All in joy and fun.
Many happy participants.

The evening program returned to music. Krishna Kumar Mishra with his troupe sang for an hour songs of Kabir Das and Tulsi Das as well as folk songs. There were a variety of instruments used.

Afterwards, bhajans were once again led by singers from these 2 states.

Attached are several photos of Baba including one with Jack Hislop as well as an except from Sanathana Sarathi.

There are also articles by Sara Pavan, Vinod Cartic, “A Lesson in Thrift” and “The Role of Women in the Home”.

In addition, there are extraordinary stories of Dr. Narottam Alreja who became Superintendent of the General Hospital in 1975 and left his body this past February.

Some of Seema Messages were: “An Undefeated Moment”, “God Knows Best”, “All Is Well”, “The Divine Message” and “The Way To The Heart”

Thought for the Day
15 March 2012

Many of you are drawn to God due to health problems or mental worry of some sort or the other. Know that these are mere baits by which you have been drawn closer to God, so that you may contact Him, receive His Grace and strengthen your faith in the Divine. Problems and worries are really to be welcomed as they teach you the lessons of humility and reverence. Today, the entire world faces many problems. Many hesitate to believe that things will improve and that life for all will be happy and full of joy, that the Golden Age will ever recur. Be assured that Divinity will always be present to protect and establish righteousness, and avert the crisis upon humanity.

Baba

Thought for the Day
14 March 2012

In the Gita Arjuna asks Krishna, "Is the mind so easily controllable? Even an elephant cannot drag one as the mind does; it is the nursery of waywardness, and its defiance, determination and obstinacy are very powerful. The mind will never halt at one place. Taming the mind is like capturing the wind or bundling up water. How can anyone control the mind or begin any spiritual practice with such a mind?” Krishna broke into a smile on hearing these words and said, "Arjuna! You have described the mind and know its nature very well. But it is not an impossible task; the mind can certainly be mastered. By systematic practice (abhyasa) and by relentless inquiry (vichara) and detachment (vairagya) - the mind definitely can be conquered. There is no task that cannot be accomplished by steady practice. Place faith in the Lord and practice with the firm belief that you have the power and the grace - then all tasks will become easy".

Baba

Thought for the Day
13 March 2012

Everyone is after happiness. The hunt for comfortable jobs and positions of influence, the founding of banks and business houses, the growth of bungalows – all this is evidence of the eagerness to live in happiness. But there is no real eagerness to live in peace. Happiness should not be confused with peace. No one rich, well placed, prosperous or powerful has peace. Peace cannot be found in passbooks or iron safes. You can investigate and verify this truth yourself. Peace cannot also be ensured by the piling of bombs and weapons. Mere terror and counter-terror will not establish cordiality and harmony. Realize that the physical is subordinate to the spiritual. The secret to peace lies in service and love towards all beings. International peace cannot dawn until the minds are cleansed of hatred and terror; remove these two evil traits within each heart and plant therein love and service.

Baba

Kashi Ashram

I've been having a hard time recently. Christine, the lady who worked
for me isn't working for me any more. It was a difficult relationship
because we were friends as well. I was very dependant on her to take
me places on the bus and also for shopping sometimes. After living
here for a year and a half I still haven't been able to do those
things without help. Fortunately there is the 'neighborly' bus which
takes us shopping every week but sometimes there are problems. There
is also a little store on the first floor if you're out of milk or
something. So I can make it. We went to the movies a couple of times
too. I always paid. We rode the bus out to see my sister a few times
but I paid for her time. It was like I bought her friendship and felt
weird. All the ladies here in this building are very independent and
most have cars and they are Christian fundamentalists, well, I don't
know how fundamental they are but I know they aren't Hindus! I'm not
a Hindu either, of course although I accept many Vedic beliefs...not
all but most. Atma, reincarnation, karma, I follow those teachings
and all of Swami's teachings. I figure 'help ever, hurt never' will
take you home right there. I wanted Christine to come once every two
weeks as this is a small one bedroom apt. and I should really do the
housework myself but she said she had to work twice as hard that way.
She really didn't work much at all and talked all the time when I was
on FaceBook or singing. Well as you can see, it was time to part even
though when I first came she was my only friend and sort of saved my
life. So I'll get someone else because my back hurts too much to run
the vacuum and do the wash.
Petty. Petty, really not worth writing about but all this started me
thinking about leaving my precious Peterborough apts.. I'd have to
explain it to St. Peter but people do come and go. So when I first
came back I was disparate to get out of my sister's house and somehow
found the name of this Ashram here in Florida; Kashi Ashram. According
to their home page it's very beautiful with a lake and a river and a
park with statues of the Buddha and I think Hanuman. They have yoga
classes and right next to it is a place for 'senior housing' They
have a guru who I believe use to be connected to Swami Ram Das who
wrote that book, 'Be Here, Be Now' It was one of the first books I
read. It seems that this lady is now fighting cancer but with her
healthy body, mind and spirit I'm sure she'll win.
It's too expensive for me, the rent is almost three times what I'm
paying here. I would love to live around 'spiritual' people again
but..I'm still afraid to take the bus to my sister's much less to
Sebastian Florida which is close to Fort Lauderdale. And yesterday I
went to Walmart on the 'Neighborly' bus and thought I was going to
die. I forget to eat and my blood sugar bottomed out. Had to get
someone to get me a wheel chair and get me through the cashier so I
could get to the bus. Oh and my blood pressure has gone way up...for
the first time...I think over this conflict with Christine. So I
should probably stay here where I'm safe. I sang 'Danny Boy'
yesterday at the Senior Center and brought down the house. I was
singing to 'Oh Sathya Sai', of course. There's going to be an Easter
Program too. Maybe someone rich could buy us Kashi.

Clearing away the trash

I've been depressed for a few days because I've been so frustrated
over the INTERNET. All of a sudden I can't even open google,my friend
and pathway to the universal mind. I try and I get a page full of
blocks and pictures of junk. I can't find my friend anymore. Then I
tried to open my very own facebook page, a place on the net where I
can talk to dozens of fellow Sai devotees and...they ask me for a
password. I look it up in my little book and they won't accept it.
I've done so much work over the years as saisusanc that I really
consider it more my name than susan. They didn't like it...it wasn't
correct. Not correct? How can you, faceless being, question my
validity? To hell with all of you. Well that started this house
cleansing thing I'm on this morning.
It's all imaginary, not even just virtual, it's imaginary. Face Book
doesn't exit period. In fact nothing does except Him. I did all that
work in India, all those books, songs plays and stuff. Where is it?
Make efforts to 'secure' it all on U TUBES and facebook, so people can
see it and use it but why? Believe it or not I did not italicize
that, He did so it must be important for me to read. All that stuff
was printed into 1,000 copies and given to the Trust bookstore,
15,000 books. It has either inspired kids or it hasn't but that's all
in the past. Those kids aren't even kids anymore. Are they better
adults now for reading about Frankie's Adventures in Sai Baba Land.
Maybe. I'll never know. Only He knows but it's time for me to move
on. And what about this FaceBook thing. I'll admit my ego was
bruised yesterday when they wouldn't let me in. I've considered it as
my 'kitchen' where various people gather to share their thoughts,
animal lovers, gays, right wing Indian politicians, Economists and
millionaires, Obama Activists, my precious California family of
singers and actors and runners, my fellow Sai Devotees, dozens of new
Sai Groups, Tibetan Buddhists etc. It was a worthy group but not only
was it 'virtual' but it doesn't exist, it's all in my imagination.
I'm not going to spend hours and hours with these people anymore.
I've even developed high blood pressure from all this and I still am
not able to create a U TUBE by myself. Post my own Bala Devi Books, or
even make audio files because...I can't even access my very own Sai
Wonderland Web Site in fact...yesterday I COULDN'T OPEN MY DOWNLOADS.
And I didn't mean to capitalize that either, He did it.
And what about the rest of my imaginary life? None of it is working
out. I found a nice lady who is a Sai Devotee but she has a job now
and we never got together even once. I'm not singing in Country
Classics at the center anymore...that terrified me so I stopped. They
are still doing my plays but...my mind has gotten so 'frail' that I
can't remember one play from another. I'm slipping and...it's great
because the only thing left to hang on to is HIM not google. There
were like 15 tornadoes yesterday in the mid-west with winds of 170
miles an hour. That would blow this 16 story building over into the
Bay...the building and all of us ancient Seniors who still cling to
our last little pieces of life in the unreal world. Yesterday I
visited with Hal, the 91 yr. Old ex- priest. He had just read a book
on theology and hated it. Wouldn't let me touch it. Said the only
thing important is the love between people, like the love we are
sharing now. 'True' I said