There is always so much to be grateful for because Swami gives us everything. I suppose I should begin by being grateful for my nurse, Janet who suggested I write everyday about gratitude. She told me that everyone was worried about me when I returned from the hospital because I'd lost 4 pounds and wasn't able to feed myself very well. It seems that I was very close to a nursing home at that point but she talked them into letting me try to stay alone. Swami sent me support when I needed it.
He also sent me someone to go to the market. She uses my little cart and walks four blocks to Publix coming back with tons of frozen dinners which I can handle for my lunch. I'll admit that the depression had clouded my mind so much that I didn't want to ear at all. I'm suppose to eat six times a day and I guess one fudge-sicle doesn't count for much. I was getting thinner and my stomach hurt all the time. Janet thinks I was starving. Actually I was quite light headed and also very blissful. Swami didn't like it.
Janet said I was in a state of grieving just as she was when she lost her husband four years ago. I had lost my India and still don't have the strength to go back. She's such a good nurse to have picked that up because I never mentioned my sad thoughts.
I never mentioned my sad thoughts about India but she could see my prayer books and statues of my babies, Ganesha and Bala Devi, on my bed when she came in. I really haven't missed doing my Rudrum or my 108 Names each day since coming back from the hospital. Now I am working my way around to discussing the Rudrum.
Even though I sing the Sanskrit bhajans without any trouble I prefer the ones which have been translated into English as well. I really do like to understand what I'm talking about. In fact I think somewhere in the Sahastranama it says that the meaning is just as powerful as the WORD, THE SANSKRIT WORD. So, I took the English translation of the Rudrum done by the students, for my sadhana. It isn't word for word in fact I substituted the word, 'engineer' for chariot driver and a few other things to bring it up to date. It's mostly the same though I did throw in the phrase, orange robe, somewhere, I will admit. I'm sure I feel every bit as 'elevated' when I read my English Rudrum as everyone else does chanting a bunch of Holy Sanskrit words no one understands.
But to tell you the truth, I'm not 100% sure that one obtains the same amount of grace from the English, especially with the 'orange robe' and the 'engineers' in it. Well, I'm sure because these transliterations have always been my dharma and my 'duty' to do for everyone to enjoy, Whether they say then or not is up to them. I've always preferred the meaning to the WORD. I may be wrong but I think I have heard Swami say that the meaning is equally important. Does anyone know? Maybe I should try to courier a letter to the Lord, askng about this very point since it is so important. Even at the Ashram when everyone else was zipping along with their beautiful Sanskrit Rudrum there I was pouring out my heart in English. Who knows, maybe that was only one more of my 'sins' resulting in my being here and everyone else being over there skimming along in Sanskrit. I particularly loved listening to the Russians chanting their faultless Sanskrit.
Why not say the Rudram and other prayers in BOTH Sanskrit and English? Yes it might take double the time but what is wrong with that?
ReplyDeleteAlso, all those artificial frozen dinners and anything packaged with a list of ingredients is completely poison to the body, encouraging the development of all sorts of bad side effects, aches and pains. Raw food diet has been proven to relief so many illnesses and reduce pain. Try fruit shakes with greens (makes blood sugar plunge even though they are sugary fruits!), sprouts (can be blended with banana, cacao powder and dates for a healthy snack) and raw blended soups for a quick, easy, healthy meal.