Sai- The Divine Sculptor
(this was the topic he gave to his speech)
Dear Brothers and sisters, this is a very emotional moment for me to stand here today as memories flood in of me coming to this holy temple with Swami many times in the past , I remember my place was fixed by the side of the throne ( and he pointed the spot next to the throne) – I also got an opportunity to go to Swami’s dining room here on the first floor where Swami has had so many lunches cooked by these loving Mothers of Sai Darshan.
On our way back to Parthi after watching many a drama enacted by the ‘Sai Darshan’ Balvikas students, Swami used to appreciate and tell us all present in the car that these street children did such a wonderful job.
Today the topic I have chosen is Sai- The Divine Sculptor – the reason being that is I was always intrigued by the sculpture by Rodin – The Thinker – I used to wonder, what is he thinking? Perhaps he is thinking about his creator the sculptor.
Similarly I too am thinking about my sculptor – who chose me “this rock” to make a sculpture out of me. I was just a rock who Swami picked, and then he marked me for future sculpting. My journey started in the year 1991- I was a Mumbai boy a typical city boy of that age – It was on my fourth day in the Sathya Sai University in the Brindavan campus when during breakfast I whispered to my friend Sai Satish , “ what is this we get only 4 idlis here – at home I used to eat 10 idlis!” After breakfast we were sitting for darshan and I was on the 3rd or 4th row Swami walked straight up to me , looked at me and said something which I could not follow , I went near and Swami repeated it and everybody behind me replied , “IDLI!!” I was shocked I thought Swami was asking what I ate for breakfast so I also said, ‘Idli Swami!’ Swami said, “Kitna idli ?” (how many idlis?) I was shocked I and Sai Satish looked at each other in horror – Swami said, “Kya bola ? ghar mei das idli khata aur yahan khali char idli?”( what did u say? At home u ate 10 idlis and here u get only 4 idlis?) . I tried to be as diplomatic as ever and said, “No Swami these idli’s are very big idlis – nice idlis!” I was fumbling with words, trying to be my diplomatic best. After that Swami did not speak to me for the next 5 years – my sculptor had marked the rock for future sculpting when the rock was ready for the hammer and tongs.
Then one day after 5 years -Swami suddenly hand picked me to distribute prasadam, I went in obediently and got the basin of prasadam. Swami asked me to give the basin to another boy and asked me to come to him. I was kneeling beside Swami’s chair and swami was busy talking to another boy. I slowly placed my hand and put my palm underneath Swami’s feet. Swami was all the while talking to the boy on the other side when suddenly His feet pressed my fingers with so much force that I could not believe that such dainty feet could actually press with so much force. This was the silent sculpting that He did in front of such a large audience on that day.
Then again Swami came and spoke to me – I was standing in the Brindavan campus, Swami walked passed me and whispered in my left ear very loudly , “COME WITH ME TO KODAIKANAL!” I was taken aback and my left ear drum almost burst out – I could not believe myself that I was to accompany Him to Kodai. It was bliss to have spent time with Swami.
On another occasion I was walking behind Swami to the dining room in the Brindavan campus – one big carton box was there, Swami told me to check what was in it – I opened one flap of it and saw that there were some pickle bottles there and I said, “Swami, pickles.” Swami said, “Be careful – u might spill on ur dress, your dress will turn red” (all these conversation happened in telugu). I opened one bottle and closed it thinking, see Swami I can handle this – I am quite careful and efficient ! (my monkey mind) . We went inside the dining room and on our way back Swami again pointed to the same box and asked what was there inside the box, I again said in a matter of fact way, “Pickles, swami.” Swami told me to check once again, so I opened the other flap and I saw that there were tomato sauce bottles on the other side of the box. I can never forget those plastic red bottles with white caps. Swami asked what it was, I said, “this is tomato sauce swami.” Swami asked, “What is that? – ( as if He didn’t know what tomato sauce was )– so I explained to Him that it was “Tomato pachadi , Swami.” And I opened the cap to show it to Swami. No sooner had I opened the cap I was shocked because I have seen only Thum’s up and Coca Cola fizz out like that, I had no idea that tomato sauce could fizz up like that and it messed up my entire white shirt and soon my white shirt was red and covered with sauce. I turned around and saw Swami was blissfully laughing and saying, “I told u ur shirt will become red, so I told u to be careful – I didn’t say that it would become oily”
Another day – Swami told me to sit in the car with Him – we were going for a drive near the Brindavan campus. I ran and jumped into the car and I sat next to Swami in the back seat. On the way Swami asked in Hindi , “Swami se kya maangta hai?” ( what do u want from Swami?)
I said , “ I want only Swami” Swami said, “Krishna maangta hai, Rama Maangta hai, kya maangta hai?”( u want to see Rama, Krishna – what do u want to see swami as ?)
I said, “I want only Swami”
He then asked, “narasimha dekhne ko maangta hai?” ( do u want to see the narasimha avatar)
I quickly said, “No Swami!”
Swami kept on pestering then I decided to say something non controversial I said, “ Vishwaroopa darshan maangta hai Swami.” ( I want to see ur Vishwaroopa Darshan)
I was thinking at that moment what could have Krishna shown to Arjuna that transformed him or did Krishna transform Arjuna’s vision that he started seeing the same things differently – all those thoughts were going on then in the mind of the 22 year old boy – Swami kept His hand out from the window, his palm was towards the window and
He said, “Roz dekhta hai – phir bhi puchtahai.” (He sees everyday but still he is asking).
Then we returned back to Brindavan after the drive, Mrs. Indulal Shah was standing there, Swami was walking ahead of us and moving His right hand – I could see His hand moving from behind. She asked, “Kya hooa Swami – bache ne kya kiya?” (what happened Swami – what did the children do now ?) Swami said, “Swami ka kam karne ka mouka mila – bolta hai moksha chaiye!”(see they there getting opportunity to serve Swami and he is saying he wants liberation).
Now we were in our last year M.Sc and we were all running behind Swami’s car and trying to catch every glimpse of Swami not knowing which will be our last darshan – As time was fast approaching for us to leave the university and seek opportunities outside of the institute. One day I was standing near the erstwhile Ganesh portico when Swami came and asked , “what do u want?” I said, “I want u swami!” Swami again said, “tell me what u want?” I thought to myself this is the best chance to stamp my MBA seat so I said, “Swami I want a seat here in MBA Swami!” Swami said, “ U want MBA ? then go to the vice chancellor!” and showed me and sent me towards the VC . I then realized that my first answer was right – from God we must want only God – the moment we want something else He will send us there.
Another day – it was our routine then around 2.30 – 3 pm we would follow Swami to the interview room and then Swami would take us for tiffin. That day as I entered the interview room somebody whispered that Swami was already there – as I entered I saw Swami in the form I didn’t want to see – the Narasimha Avatar form! ( He was in a bad mood). He had a letter in His hand. Swami looked at me furiously sometimes the sculptor uses hammer and tongs to do the sculpting, and asked, “where were u?” I didn’t have the courage to tell Him that I was on time and that, Swami u came early! Swami showed me the letter some people from the hostel had written complaining about me saying that I was so talkative and how Swami chose me in spite of all this. He said, look what people r talking about u, even the hostel warden is complaining about u – I was extremely hurt; I fell on my knees and sobbed and cried – I was panting loudly – suddenly Swami just melted like butter, He held my neck and put my head on His chest – the moment my head touched His chest my sobs just vanished – all my pain just vanished and I was at peace. Then Swami asked me, “when u were a kid – did u not run around naked?” I smiled and said, “Yes Swami I might have” Swami said, “will u do that now?” I said, “no swami I wont do that now” Swami said, “See that was ur sahaja swabhav then – now r u ashamed to recollect it – No! similarly ur behavior before talking to swami was sahaja for that moment now after speaking to Swami that behaviour will no longer be sahaja then why should u be ashamed about it ? u did it because of agyana .” I still remember how lovingly Swami spoke to me and transformed that rock that day.
Earlier during morning darshan time I would pray to Swami to give morning darshan – I would plead and request Him saying, “please Swami lets go at least twice a week for morning darshan ; see people are coming from so far waiting for ur darshan !” Swami said, “do u know how much this body has worked, palli palli tirgan ra , ippudu e shariramu weak aayepoindi ra ( I have visited village to village, now this body is weak, ra ) hearing this I had in tears in my eyes and prayed to Swami to rest , I said “Swami you please rest Swami – we will do the work and u watch us work , Swami!”
Once a lady from Haryana group who were performing in front of swami shouted, “I love u Swami!” Swami said, “Love my words!” – Yes dear brothers and sisters we have to love and follow our sculptor’s words – “BHAGAVAN OVAACHA”, we have to keep reading – we don’t know when we will come across that single line – that single stroke from our sculptor which will transform us. Till then we have to keep on reading. Thousands of years from now people will read Swami’s words the way they read BHAGAWAT GITA today.
Those last three trying weeks when Swami was in the hospital – first week I was optimistic , I thought Swami will be alright- everyday I dreamt of Swami walking around me and talking to me like before, then the second week I dreamt that Swami was lying in the hospital bed not well and in the last week I stopped getting any dreams of Him – When Swami stopped coming in my dreams the third week I knew something was amiss, I realized that Swami was not coming to my dreams and talking to me , I ran to Swami’s bed in the hospital and cried and begged Swami to come and give me a message and talk to me - I hadn’t slept for a 3-4 days at a stretch and on 23rd April I felt little tired , so I thought of taking a quick nap – No sooner had I slept for 5 mins I heard Swami’s voice very sharply like the first time He spoke in my left ear ( Come to Kodaikanal), this time in my right ear Swami said very loudly as if my right ear drum would explode, “BE CAREFUL!” I woke up with a start and ran to Swami’s room but something inside me said that this was not good news.
Recently 4 days after the Swami’s Mahasamadhi was opened I was weeping and sobbing at the Samadhi in a similar fashion as in the interview room a long long time ago– but the moment my head touched the marble slab of the Samadhi I immediately stopped crying and felt the same peace I felt that day in the interview room when Swami had touched my forehead to His chest– Yes Swami is still very much there with us!
During the Birthday celebration I could not sleep for 10 days I was in a bad shape, I have been going in and out of depression since the time Swami has left His physical form– my bed was never rolled – days and nights I would be awake – during Swami’s birthday on 23rd Nov. an incident happened which I want to share - we were busy decorating the jhula, on which Swami used to recline.
On Swami’s B’day myself and a few other boys made a ritual where we go to the Yajur mandir and light a lamp in Swamis room. On this day we sang a bhajan and also played a bhajan sung by Swami so that we could hear Swami’s voice in that very same room again, sat there a few minutes. While we were sitting there I dozed off and I had a dream of Swami. The dream was of me lying dead on the floor and Swami is giving me CPR. Suddenly I woke up – and i realize, BROTHERS IT IS TIME TO WAKE UP! TAKE THIS MISSION THAT SWAMI HAS STARTED FORWARD.
We are very blessed that we could enjoy and be in the presence of A LIVING GOD – Those whose lives He has touched can no longer lead ordinary lives. “THERE IS NO ORDINARY LIFE FOR US BROTHERS”. He has touched all of us and made our lives extraordinary. It is now our turn to carry forward the work started by Him and yes we have to love His words all the time. He is very much with us all the time. His words will rule the world for the next million years. These memories will always be with us and energise us whenever we feel low – these memories will take us ahead. There is no ordinary life for us!
