Pablum

It's 9:30 at night and I'm watching American Idol but...as much as I
love this show, I felt that I should put down my thoughts...even just
the beginning of a blog.

I felt like talking to people today and I have unlimited calling all
over the country so I spoke to Sally, Uma, Carol and even Rich....Sai
Graduates all. I have changed all of their names. Rich has been a
devotee as long as I have and we were in the same group back in 1974.
He said that since he's been back in the USA many people from the
early days have gotten in touch with him just to talk. I think since
Swami's transition, many of us have felt a little out of place. We
don't belong in India any more. Rich is has had a wealth of
experiences on this transformation path we're all on..
Sally is having the hardest time because she has been back from India
for less time than anyone, besides her mother is slipping. Now Sally
must stay here in the world and care for her mother. It seems to be
Swami's will. Fortunately Uma is there helping out. Uma really
doesn't have a family so together they will take this difficult
step.
Carol has been back here about as long as I have and she's doing
really well. She's also a bit older as I am and she has a Senior
center near by. She goes about every day and also she has a Sai
Center and there is a devotee to pick her up every week. Also her
daughter is very enthusiastic about how well and happy she has
become.
So Swami has everyone just where they should be and it's all perfect.
Naturally I thought of a big project to tie all of us together. Now
don't start with me about...letting Swami take care of it. I know
that but...how do I know that it isn't Swami who gives me these
ideas...huh? Maybe He's wants me to be an instrument...to tell
everyone what to do with their lives. It could be possible. Right.
So I had this idea. All of these ladies are musicians so ...maybe we
should do a circuit of say 6 or 7 big centers, New York, L.A,, Miami,
Tuscon, Toronto, San Fransisco, Chicago, and our little group could
visit the centers, sing 4 or 5 Swami love songs together, lead a few
bhajans, do a little skit about how hard it is to return home after a
long time, give a talk, and answer questions about living in Prasanthi
Nilayam. I wouldn't have anything to do with it but I could maybe
write the skits...I wondered if I should try to organize this and I
asked our precious Swami as I usually do. See, I have this little
kundalini energy thing, very subtle...and I know the energy is the
Lord so I asked if we should try to do it. If it's 'yes', there's
this small tingle..a 'no' is stillness, nothing zip. Nada, This time
it was nothing, zip, nada, no. The word 'pablum' crossed my mind. I
wondered why pablum came up. It is a cereal for babies. I have
sometimes felt I was kind of babied during the 30years I lived in
India, such a protected environment. Our little group of Sai
Graduates would be 'preaching to the converted'. We would be singing
and playing and talking to people like us when what we should be doing
is...extending our love and our wisdom to others, to humanity. We
need to be examples of Swami's teachings for people who don't know
Him. Not to convert them to Swami, of course but just to live to LOVE
ALL SERVE ALL. Swami came to save humanity and as we are like Swami, I
guess we have to broaden our horizons.

As I was doing my prayers...

As I was doing my prayers this morning I found myself thanking Swami
for Face Book. Even with the Grammy awards blaring on TV, I managed
to spend three hours with Susan Lawrence Caffery Face Book and Western
Sai Graduates. Then I read my new Time-line which is huge.
You know I read these articles about how people waste their time
writing about how they shampooed their hair and went shopping and all
those things. I find that Face Book is primarily my worship of
Swami. I spend hours and hours watching videos which have been posted
by dozens of different Sai groups which have spouted up. Several are
doing,'thoughts of the day', some post wonderful rare old photos of
Swami, some post their spiritual feelings and thoughts while others
get into discussions about His teachings. It is simply incredible;
the ideas, the music and His UTUBE Darsans, create a Sai world beyond
belief. It's really like being back at the Ashram and running into
various devotees on the way to Darsan. And another wonderful thing is
that interspersed in all this is the world. My wonderful niece who
lives and works in California is quite political and brings in
different organizations working for President Obama. I have a nephew
in Virginia who is a professor and teaches social psychology. His
wife, whom I've never met, is quite an activist politically and so we
have those organizations too. As this is such a crucial year with the
elections coming up I am glad to be a platform. Then our Face Book is
also there for various social issues like 'gay rights' and animal
welfare, vegetarianism and child abuse. All these things are terribly
important and as I believe our Swami is in everything seen and unseen,
they are a part of this spiritual perspective. It's sort of like Face
Book is a little stage and various people and ideas jump up on the
stage and share their ideas and feelings, then they jump down and the
next person or video or song jumps up to do their bit. It's so
wonderful!
As my name is on the top of all of this I feel that I have an
obligation to sort of be the 'mother' so I'm Susan Ama. There have
been a few times when people have used bad language or posted unseemly
pictures which I have deleted. It's kind of like saying...'OK, you
can feel that way if you want but don't bring that into my kitchen' .
And there is another aspect which has a great influence. It is sort
of a fusion on USA values and traditional Indian values. Well not
absolutely traditional but I think that some of the young men who are
posting are either Swami's ex students or are working for Him now.
Also some of His Anantapur students are posting and Swami wouldn't
like them to see things that are off-color. I feel Swami would want me
to be rather protective of them. Actually we are all doing His work
and that is our purpose, our very life which makes this FaceBook page
very meaningful. It's funny but usually the Indian aspect and the
Californian aspect don't interact with one another. Each group have
their own followers and I just sort of mother them along. My niece in
California has an absolutely fantastic family with a son who is a
professional actor and play-write and a daughter who sings at gigs all
over southern California so things are always not only spiritual but
lively and exciting in my Face Book kitchen.

Heathens and Pagans

I am not comfortable telling people about our Lord so I just never
mention Him to anyone. For over 30 years I was free to love and adore
Him openly, happily repeating 'Sai Ram' at every opportunity. I knew
in my heart it was a luxury that was only possible because I lived at
His Ashram. Even living anywhere else in India, openly flaunting His
precious name, was frowned on a bit.

So for about a year and a half I haven't been able to say, 'Sai Ram'
except for the few times I actually went all the way to Clearwater to
attend the Sai Center there. I do not have a car and so, I seldom
went. Oh and I was able to say “Sai Ram' on the telephone when I
spoke to my old Sai Baba friends who live here in the states.

Anyway, Swami finally sent a Sai Bhaktha into my life. I go to the
Sunshine Senior Center, as most of you know and am involved with the
chorus and with a drama group. A few weeks ago a new lady joined who
seems very nice. I was sitting across the table from her this last
Monday and she said, 'I understand you lived in India for a long
time.' You know everyone gossips about everyone else here, it's just
the way things are and I knew that was the prevailing story about me.
I have very long hair and I lived in India, that's what they say. I
smiled and said 'yes' and she asked where in India and I said
'Bangalore.' Puttaparthi is not a popular destination. She said,
'Oh,did you ever hear about Sathya Sai Baba?' I grabbed her finger
and we began speaking quietly about the Lord. She has been to India
and has had a few miracles happen.
I am overjoyed because this is a very Christian place. In a way it's
good because they love God and so do I ...as long as I'm careful and
don't mention Swami because that makes me a heathen. After all. most
of them have relatives who have gone to China and India to save the
heathens and here am I in their midst. As a matter of fact I think I
have a relative from long back, buried in Madras, I never looked her
up. I think seniors are getting 'READY TO MEET THE SAINTS' so they
tend to feel closer to the Lord. I could say that my Lord is the same
as their Lord only He has a different name...but it wouldn't do any
good. They base their belief system strictly on the Holy Bible and
you won't find our Swami there, at least not by name. So I never
mention Him. There's even one lady who said she didn't want to talk
to me even thought she thinks I'm a very nice person...because I'm not
a Christian. I may be the only non-Christian she's ever met except
for a few Jews. This new Sai Baba friend is Jewish, by the way.
We are doing two of my plays in the drama group. Somebody
said...'we'll read new plays if anybody wants to try to write one'.
I'd already thought about a TV series based on the seniors here, I
heard that there are 85,000 or something either here in St. Pete or in
Florida and there's a public channel now that does stuff from the
schools...their band and orchestra so I thought...what about seniors.
I also saw something on TV about how acting in plays has helped people
with Alzheimers. We're doing two now and I've written three more. It's
a huge project totally impossible except...if the Lord wanted to do
it...maybe, especially now with my new Sai friend. We all have to find
our own way to do seva and maybe this is mine.